Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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