idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize