How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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