you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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