So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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