why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
