Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
