come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
