I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
