Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
