are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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