I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize