Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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