This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
