bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
