clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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