yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
