i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just blew my weed a kiss
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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