420 ftw
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
