I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
