Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
