Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
