therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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