I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You can't just leave with hair like that
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
