This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just threw up on my dentist
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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