Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
