how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
