people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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