is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
