And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
