Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
