i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.