when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.