I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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