Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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