What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
