sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
