This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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