I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
