Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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