She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
