the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
