I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
