My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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