Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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