She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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