i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
