Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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