If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
