Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
