All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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