i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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