im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
