If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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