Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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