It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
