Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
this is an emotional support booty call
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
