alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
