I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
