i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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