i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
