The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
