Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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