thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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