Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We need to rekindle our bromance
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize
