Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
